I love fall. Marching bands practicing, football games, the promise of cooler weather all help to make it my favorite season. I spent this afternoon with Sanna. We drove from Madison to Brookings, taking the back roads as opposed to the interstate. What a beautiful drive! I had no idea this area even existed. We saw dozens of pelicans, some turtles sunning themselves, frogs quickly hopping out of our way and my favorites, Blue Herons. We couldn't get close enough to get any pictures of the herons but I saw several including one standing right on the shoulder of the road with a fish in it's mouth. We enjoyed being in the sunshine, watching the amazing birds and just being together.
Yesterday morning I was on my way to run some errands. While stopped at a stop light I noticed a very large yellow lab running alongside two young women. I noticed him because:
a. I always notice dogs. I love dogs.
b. He was HUGE.
c. At one point, he flopped to the ground as if exhausted but jumped back up to keep up with his companions.
As I turned the corner I noticed the lab was now running with a different young woman. He then crossed the street to run with yet another runner. It was at this point I realized he was loose and didn't belong out running free. I went around the block with the idea of picking him up and taking him to the Humane Society. I couldn't find him at first. I was so afraid he would be hit by a car. I finally saw him running with yet another young, college woman. I stopped my Mustang convertible mini van to see if I could catch him. His running companion asked if I lived nearby because she was also worried about him. I told her I would take him home, give him a drink, then take him to the Humane Society. Around this time the Animal Control truck pulled up. The officer was a tiny, petite, dynamo of a woman. She scanned the dog for a micro chip. There wasn't one. I had already checked for tags, none. His running companion checked his ears for an identifying tattoo, none. The officer decided she would drive around with him for awhile, hoping his people would come home for lunch and notice him missing. The best part of this all was the dog's attitude and zest for life. I swear he was smiling the whole time I was with him. He had several different running partners that morning and had run through someone's sprinklers. What an adventure he had. What a loving, energetic spirit. The down side, the frustrating part was his owner's negligence. I don't mean to pass judgement, but where are his tags? Where is the micro-chip? I understand a dog like that can get out of the yard and wants to run, but do what you can to ensure his safety and his safe return. Fortunately for that wonderful dog, he is safe and had a most excellent adventure.
Prayer has not played a very big part of my life lately. I know for some people that would be unfathomable. I have struggled with my faith and struggled with prayer. I am starting again. Praying that is. Call it part of my life make-over. I am working at praying better too. I'm not sure how you do that, I think I will just know when I have improved....
It has been 1 week since I started my "new year". I have not accomplished as much as I would have liked to in the past week. Does that surprise me? Not at all. Change is hard, I know this. I know I need to take this one day at a time. And I will. I just get impatient. I have some difficult decisions to make. I have been dragging my feet about them. I need to do it though so I can move forward. It is hard, but I will keep working at it.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous.' Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others."
-Mariann Williamson
I have 2 girls. Actually, they are young women. When did this happen? Blame it on the fact that they are both in college, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how fast time sped by. I raised them alone. I never used the title 'single parent'. I never liked using that as an excuse. It was hard though. I was always tired, always broke and always stressed. I wonder if that is why time passed so quickly. Because I was always so stressed. Some days I wish I could get a do-over. I would change the way I did things and just enjoy being with the 2 of them more. I can't do-over though and that is a good thing. They are fabulous young women and I couldn't be more proud of them or love them more.
It is a good place to start. It is the perfect place to start really. A true beginning. I have felt the entire summer should be my new beginning, but it wasn't. I have so many changes I want to make, but have made none of them. That isn't to say this summer hasn't been full of change. It has, just not for the better. A good deal of it has been frustrating, a good deal of it has been depressing and it has been painful. It is time to start working on the changes I envision will change my life to the one I imagine. The life I want as mine. The life in which I am happy, productive and creative. Today is a good place to start because today is my birthday, the first day of my 48th year. It's about time I got started on this.
